Lost Spirit
by Lonely in Russia
Summary: Elrohir/Legolas. Up again cos it was wonky. Elrohir is in trouble, he is lost. He wants Legolas to save him, but it looks doubtful.


Disclaimer: Yada, yada, I do not own lord of the rings or anything from it. 

I redid it, same words mainly, just a few changes, but I got the layout right this time though. It was bloody awful to try and read last time, sorry!

~*~*~*Lost Spirit~*~*~*  
  
~*~*~Chapter One~*~*~

*~*~*~I see You~*~*~*

  
The elf plunged through the bush and endeavoured to free himself of the thorns and twigs that tore at his clothes. The night sky was imperturbable and unyielding above him as he recklessly tried to distance himself from the beast, each moment seeming like a score of years to his young senses. 

He continued to run through the forest; he did not even take the time to climb up a tree to give him a slight advantage, as he knew that the beast would be upon him before his feet left the ground. The grass sprang back from beneath his boots and he neared the edge of the forest and the beginning of the plains. He did not want to have to outrun the creature on the plains where he would be easily seen and where there was nothing that could help him when the time came that he was too tired to continue. He distinctly felt the ground beneath him turn from the floor of the forest to rocks and stony soil; not what he was used to.

He stumbled as a slippery pebble made him lose his balance. His heart started to thump so hard that he could hear and feel it everywhere in his body. It seemed like his veins and bones were drumming out his last few seconds alive, that his whole body had given up and accepted the fate of what was sure to happen. He let out deep breaths, which made his body shudder with pain and exhaustion.

He scrambled back onto his feet and managed to run a few strides when dizziness overtook him and he collapsed to the ground. Hope diminished from within his heart, faith was integrally forgotten. He heard the beast clamouring towards him and, in one last attempt to redeem himself of what he had let happen to his brothers, the elf began to scrabble away towards a pile of rocks, determined that he would not die screaming and wailing. At least, not until he had used up everything that he had. The elf seized a handful of rocks at got ready to throw them at the beast when it emerged from the forest. He waited, breaths still racking his body so much so that he felt as if he wasn't alive anymore, like he was already being torn to pieces. 

Then the crashing stopped, the elf began to listen nervously for the foul creature and he began to panic when he could not hear it; then, like the moon from the horizon, slowly, the creature appeared. The sight of it made him lose all courage he had left and he dropped the stones. The fear in his body was so intense that he almost passed out. The creature snarled at him and slowly began to walk over to him. The stench of dried blood filled the air and the elf's head reeled as nausea swam through him. The beast was now a mere three feet away from him and the elf silently said his last prayers as he awaited his death. 

He closed his eyes and memories twisted through his mind. The reminder of his loved ones made his heart shatter and like broken shards of glass, tears fell from his face. He opened his eyes, determined to face the creature and saw it bend to pounce. When it was in mid air, a 'swoosh' filled the air and an arrow dug itself into the beast. It fell from the air and landed, slumped, on the floor. 

The elf stared at the beast and then realised that he wasn't breathing. He looked around to see where the arrow had come from and saw two horses riding up to him. On the horses sat two elves; both had long black hair and they seemed to share the same expression on their faces, or so it seemed to the elf. They dismounted their horses and approached him carefully; the elf recognised them and let out a cry of relief. The younger of the two ebony haired elves ran to help him stand. He put his arms underneath the elf, lifted him off the ground and carried him back to the horses. The elf that had remained on the horse examined him for wounds and then turned to him with an amused smile.

"Well Legolas, would you care to explain why we found you this far from home about to be mauled to death by a warg." He chuckled but stopped when he saw the less than amused look on Legolas' face. 

Elladan cleared his throat. 

"Father, I seem to get the notion that Legolas doesn't find it particularly amusing to be reminded of the fact that he was nearly mauled apart by a warg. Do you my friend?" Legolas scowled and the other two elves turned serious. 

"What happened? Why were you unarmed?" Elladan questioned.

Elrond stepped up and began asking as well. "What were you doing out here anyway? Didn't you know what had happened?" 

"It was rather stupid of you to travel without weapons my friend"

"I agree, you may be a prince, Legolas, but you can still die."

"Yes, you can still get mauled apart by wargs."

"Elladan." Elrond warned his son.

The twin nodded and fell silent. Legolas looked at them worriedly.

"I didn't mean to come this far. I was meant to be meeting someone but instead I found a hoard of orcs and wargs. And I did not travel without weapons, I lost them when Ifelldownaverysteephillintothelairofsaidorcsandwargs." Elrond frowned.

"Which with spaces would be.?" he questioned. Legolas drew in a deep breath. 

"I did not travel without weapons, I lost them when I fell down a very steep hill into the lair of said orcs and wargs." Elladan laughed.

"You fell into the lair of orcs and wargs? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of Legolas. Can you imagine what Aragorn would say?" 

Legolas shook his head. Elladan laughed again. 

"I can; if my best friend had just fallen down a cliff into the laps of orcs and had nearly gotten himself eaten, I'd be in hysterics for the rest of my life!" He started laughing harder and was soon clutching his stomach. He stopped when he looked up and saw the murderous look on the young Prince's face. He muttered a 'sorry' and climbed back onto his horse behind Legolas. 

The three of them rode back to Rivendell and the happy atmosphere created by the father and son, complemented by the warm sun and the smell of summer, made Legolas' heart lighter.

He struggled and effectively managed to push all sombre thoughts to the depths of his mind. Elladan had decided to stop teasing him and he was looking forward to seeing his two best friends again, he felt that they at least wouldn't pity him when he told them of his troubles.

He quietly looked back across the sun-kissed plains and hoped that the person he had left on the edge of the orc den would be safe and unscathed back in the kingdom of Mirkwood. His doleful thoughts had cast a mournful glow on his fair skin and Elladan looked at him; eyes showing concern for the sad look upon his friend's face. Legolas looked up and smiled to reassure him. He then turned around and faced the plains that were racing beneath them; he couldn't prevent the tear that slid down his cheek and fell like a leaf in the midst of the thundering hooves- if only she had run when he told her to. There was still a faint glimmer of hope that shone in him, it made him almost believe that she had escaped, that he was lying on a soft bed somewhere, healing and dreaming of him with flowers around her and soft voices comforting her in her nightmares. It made him believe that she still loved him and that she had only wanted to meet him to tell him so. Part of his mind shouted the truth but, like a whisper in the desert, it went unheard.  
  
For hours they rode, the ground beneath them slowly turning back into field and grass; to Legolas, it was like an endless torture, each minute his mind was plagued by some thought or another which cause him to withdraw from any talk that there was between the three elves. Thankfully for him, Elrond and Elladan interpreted this as weariness and did not question him. 

The earth was scorched and dry, to Legolas it felt as barren as him, it felt like there was nothing that could survive one day underneath the sun on these lands and it scared him somewhat. He disliked the idea that someone could feel so helpless and unable to defend themselves and he shuddered. It wasn't because he was afraid of death of pain, he was just afraid of pity and scorn. He already resented the two elves for saving him. The young Prince of Mirkwood knew that he was stupid when it came to pride; he had once told his father and brothers that he would rather die a tortured, painful and utterly inconsequential death rather then be saved by a beggar or a thief. 

When they neared the borders of Rivendell it was nightfall and the sun was just disappearing beneath the horizon, leaving an orange glow over the land. The trees stood against a background of crimson and terracotta clouds and the song of birds sweetened the already pleasant air. This was normally Legolas' favourite part of the day but this time he hardly noticed it. His mind was busy sieving through thoughts of guilt and sorrow, too busy to comprehend anything around him, it would have made him sad to see anyone else feel like this but his nerves were alight, almost willing somebody to pity him. One touch from a friend would probably result in a bloody death. Legolas didn't like people pitying him.

He didn't notice when they reached the Elven kingdom and he didn't hear Elladan announce that he could dismount from the horse. In fact, he didn't even hear Aragorn walk over to them and greet him. All he saw were swirls of colour mingling with the trails of his mind. He did, however, feel the pinch that he was given by Elladan to awaken him from his daydreaming. He yelped.

"What was that for?" he asked angrily, eyes blazing like diamonds that held the fire of a million torches within. Elladan merely raised an eyebrow and replied with an air of annoyance in his soft voice.

"You looked like you were in a coma Legolas." Legolas scoffed and retorted,

"With my eyes open?" Elladan frowned and realised that he was beaten. Legolas nimbly jumped from the horse and greeted Aragorn. 

"It has been a long time my friend, I would have visited sooner but I was a bit." Legolas searched for a word that would not lead to anything suspicious, 

"Preoccupied." Aragorn accepted this with a nod of his head and a bright smile.

"Of course Legolas, I was not expecting you as it was but come, you look tired." Legolas pointedly glanced at Elladan as a warning for him not to say anything. The elf just nodded and went about directing the horses to the stables. Legolas silently prayed that the elf would have enough courtesy not to mention it without his consent and knew that the elder son of Elrond probably would. He followed Aragorn inside and began to look around. Rivendell was the same it had been last time he came; it never seemed to age and it always held an air of relief and friendliness. As they continued he felt waves of peacefulness wash through him and he smiled, forgetting for the moment all of the grief that he had suffered.  
  
  


Elrohir heard the sound of horses approaching the kingdom and silently cursed to himself. His brother and father weren't supposed to be back for a couple of days and he knew that he would now have to wait until the next time they went away. He looked out of the window and groaned as he saw only grey and black skies intertwined with green swirls of peace and blue swirls of hope.

For the past two years, all he had been able to see were forms and their feelings; never the correct colours of paint or clothing, he could sense the pain and regret, the happiness and love, the longing and hope of all the things around him. He could also sense jealousy and rage. He knew what all living and non-living things held within them and he hated it. He hated that he could sense the emotions of everyone else and yet nobody ever seemed to sense his. He hated that everyone else could see the beauty of things around him or her and all he could see was the pain that it felt. 

He felt as if he were lost inside himself, as though he didn't exist, that his body was just a vessel for this to flow through. Sometimes he would scream and shout to the Valar to take it away but nothing happened. He had almost forgotten how to speak to people because he felt vulnerable knowing if this person were to lie or hide things from him. He just wanted peace. He didn't know how it had happened, each day things and colour had seemed to fade from his mind and now his world was a mass of swirls and feelings. He had planned to do something, anything, he didn't know what but now his family were back it would make things harder. Arwen and Aragorn had been here but they didn't seem to sense anything wrong with him; not that he noticed anyway.  
  
A knock at the door startled him and he jumped. Elladan opened the door and walked in, pausing to check that this was ok with his brother. He walked over and stood at the window next to Elrohir.

"How are you? We came back slightly early due to a, um, certain event. Legolas is here." Elrohir looked up with hope in his eyes. Maybe Legolas would be able to sense what was wrong and help him. He nodded his thanks to Elladan and ran from the room. He made his way as quickly as he could to the hall and saw Legolas and Aragorn emerge from the courtyard. Legolas looked up as he sensed a presence and smiled when he saw Elrohir. Aragorn stopped talking, looked between the to of them, turned and walked out the way he had just come. Legolas ran to Elrohir and hugged him. Elrohir was relived to sense the love from within Legolas. It had been two years since he had last seen him and he wouldn't have been able to cope if Legolas did not love him.

"How are you my love? I have not seen you for a long time." Legolas pulled him away and kissed him. 

"I wanted to come but I could not, I was busy, I wanted to see you so badly. I thought about you every day." Elrohir pulled him into a deeper kiss. Legolas sensed that something was wrong and pulled away with a worried look on his face.

"Is there something wrong Elrohir?" when Elrohir did not reply but started to walk back to his room, Legolas followed.  
  
  
  
When they were inside the room, Elrohir sat down on the bed and started to cry. 

"Everything has changed, I can't see real things anymore. I can't even see the colour of the robes that I'm wearing." Legolas frowned as Elrohir told him everything. After he had comforted him, he drew away. 

"What about me?" he asked. Elrohir frowned and then gasped in surprise. "I can see you clearly, your hair, your robes., your cuts! What happened?" he asked anxiously. Legolas closed his eyes and tried to clear his thoughts; none of this made any sense and he was starting to wonder if Elrohir had lost his mind.

"Elrohir, I do not think that you are of your right mind, perhaps you should lie down and sleep." He put his arm on his lover's shoulder and sighed when it was pushed away by a rough hand. He looked into Elrohir's face and his heart moved when he saw the dejected look that lay there. Tears of anger fell from the stormy eyes as the elf stood.

"I knew this would happen! I didn't want to believe that this would be the outcome but I feared it. Even the person I love cannot feel anything. Do you have no hope Legolas? Can you not believe or contemplate things because you cannot see them? It that is so then you are damned like the rest of this world."

Legolas cried out in disbelief and he lunged out to grab hold of Elrohir's arm. 

"Do not tell me I am damned!" He yelled, then he paused, his breathing settling a bit.

"If you are truly this insane then it is you who is damned." 

Elrohir scowled. 

"I know that you believe me Legolas, I can see it. Don't pretend otherwise." 

He smirked and Legolas' face softened.

"I do my love, I do." He drew Elrohir to him and kissed him gently before pulling away and walking out of the room to take a walk.

Elrohir watched him go, quietly contemplating what he would do. He didn't even know whether he wanted it to go away, not really. It was alright sometimes, and after all, everyone has black moments in their lives.

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End file.
